UPDATE DAY
Sociologist of intimacy and sexuality, social worker, university professor, best-selling author, excellent communicator, Michel Dorais really cares about passing on his knowledge and helping. With great kindness and lots of positive reinforcement, he suggests that men become aware of certain behaviors and invites them to change for the better in his new book, Antitoxic masculinity< /strong>.
Michel Dorais is very clear: masculinity is not a disease and no man is predestined to have toxic behaviors for himself or for others.
In his new book, he makes the tour of toxicity in all spheres of existence, in a clear, concise and very accessible way. It offers inspiring ideas and actionable actions for guys of all ages who want to be caring men.
Find role models
Could it be that men lack role models and interpersonal relationships are increasingly complex?
“There is a lot of talk about toxic masculinity. But masculinity is not a disease! I have a family and there are plenty of guys in my family. I am a guy myself. I taught 45 years and I know some guys. I have seen generations pass. I said to myself: coudon, the guys want to do well! They want to improve and there are plenty of guys who are already antitoxic. But how?
Michel Dorais adds that he teaches just that, change, helping relationships and problem solving.
“You have to give them stuff, you have to give them examples. You have to talk to kind guys in a kind way. And the guys who could improve a little more, you have to give them a taste for reading and thinking.”
“It is a book that I would have liked to read, that I would have liked to give to my son or to my nephews. This is a benevolent book with a humorous tone. I don't want to make people feel guilty, I want to make them want to act and do things.”
Be proactive
Where to start? “We have to be proactive in our behavior. And it is in all life. If we look at the 15 chapters of the book, it's studies, the world of work, love life, sport. I work with reality shows, with sports federations. I don't just think about it, I actualize it. I'm really working on that.”
“Guys need to hear positive talk. It's not guys who are toxic, it's certain behaviors. A man is not toxic. A woman is not toxic. There are also toxic behaviors in women: the bitchageis toxic behavior. There is no more toxicity in guys than in women. But guys, a lot of times, what do you want, society moves slowly and often guys use their power, their position, their physical strength to do things that shouldn't be done.”
Michel Dorais found it very interesting to give examples.
“I see a lot of them: I'm working on that!”
He finds that his book gives hope to guys and girls and the world around them.
“This is not a book written in a dramatic or guilt-inducing tone. I think we can be responsible without feeling guilty and feeling guilty. You have to make guys want to do things. It's a cookbook…for every guy to make his own recipes. Guys have to talk to guys.”
- Michel Dorais is a sociologist.
- < strong>He is the author of several best-selling books, including A Guide to Good Sexual Conduct for Guys and The profession of helping.
- He practiced or taught the psychosocial intervention and prevention for over 40 years.
- He now works to prevent toxic behavior in young people.
EXTRACT
“We are not helpless in the face of toxic virility and its misdeeds. We have the freedom to react to it, to counterbalance it, to propose something else, first and foremost by our example.”