Finding yourself in the middle of a spat? It's often the last thing you want: being involved in a conflict or provoking it unintentionally causes its share of stress and unease, which in turn will do nothing to improve the situation…< /strong>
Many equate the debates to a rat race, a cacophonous confrontation between politicians, activists, or stars of the small screen. We have already said of Quebecers that they would be allergic to it and would be hesitant about the prospect of defending their position vis-à-vis the other with vigor and conviction. The reason would be very simple, we are also told: Quebecers do not like that, the chicane!
Moreover, it is often said that it is better not to talk about politics or religion when a family is at the same table. Bad memories and old grudges sometimes come back to haunt some clans, who will prefer to bury (or rather hide) the hatchet.
However, if we constantly avoid certain subjects, especially when several generations rub shoulders in the same place, no one will succeed in seeing beyond their blinkers, in qualifying, enriching and modifying their point of view. And that is precisely what a real debate can do.
The art of communicating (and listening)
Knowing how to debate should not be reduced to a tough verbal game, quite the contrary. For a debate to be constructive, relevant – and even pleasant! – it must first be an act of communication. For some, knowing how to communicate well corresponds to being able to express one's ideas clearly and to be able to explain them to others so that they can fully understand the meaning and nuances of what we are saying. These ingredients are certainly important, but we should not forget another, absolutely crucial in communication, listening!
An exchange and not a fight< /p>
A good debate is not measured by the number of murderous phrases or insults that spring from either side, which we observe in the political contest, or even by a selection of ” clips ” which will eventually be taken up in social media or in the media sphere. Playing who will shout the loudest or leave the other speechless with a heavy argument is simply not a real debate. At best, one of the two parties will be able to rejoice in the impression of having won, which is more like a fight than a real exchange: we bet that this is not the way that the best ideas and solutions will be able to emerge!
Discuss to better think together
A real debate is therefore first and foremost a team effort, and it is in this collaborative spirit that we must debate.
Listening to proposals and arguments of his interlocutors makes it possible to better understand them, to think about what they are proposing… and not to think about the next line that could cut their whistle.
Listening allows to think together, to further deepen and enrich the reflections of everyone.
Gaining his point of view can be exhilarating, but better understand his vis-à-vis to glimpse a new perspective, to think differently and find more innovative and nuanced ideas? This is an outcome that turns out to be infinitely more profitable for all of us.
A hundred times in the business…
When everyone thinks the same thing – or pretend! –, the best ideas have a hard time making their way and evolving. And who can claim to hold THE truth?
True ethical thought is that of the fruit of deliberation. The best solutions emerge from the clash of ideas, from openness to the other's proposals, from the exploration of the resulting thoughts, from a work of reflection that will continue to be nourished by exchanges throughout the debate.  ;
Being open to the opinions, ideas and solutions of others means not only knowing how to debate, it means being able to enrich your own life, that of others, and our life in society.