Down with bad mood: a dozen jokes for all occasions

Долой плохое настроение: десятка анекдотов на все случаи жизни

The positive is guaranteed.

For anybody not a secret that laughter prolongs life and cures many diseases. Read a selection of the best jokes, reports the Chronicle.info with reference to znaj.ua.

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– I gave you the best years! – she shouts. “Thank you,” he smiles sheepishly.- What kind of thanks was that for?!- For what do you call the years spent with me, your best.

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I am a very punctual person: how many warn about being late, so late.

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The husband comes home drunk. Wife in the kitchen washing dishes. Husband fist on the table: – Who is the boss?Wife with a frying pan on the head. Out. Lying on the floor.Comes neighbor: how was your day man in the middle of the kitchen is?- Master! Where it wants and lies.

*** When my mother called and once again asking stupid question like how to use email on the iPhone, remember she taught you how to hold a spoon.

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Female friendship is when two women are jealous of each other in silence.

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Turned off the light. Spent two hours without the Internet. Talked to the wife. It is a very nice woman!

*** Maybe the wedding would cost and without a fight, but the young began eagerly to open the envelopes…

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– And let the accountant will draw and instead of tea he cognac pour?- And so let me play!

***If you wanna lose friend, borrow him money and he better take it – so economically…

***Statistically, even the most intelligent head usually loses in a dispute with a blunt object.

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– Is it possible to have children after 35?- Possible, but not necessary. 35 children is enough!

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The pundits advising to get out of the comfort zone to start living, please explain first how to get there.

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– In our work need extreme self-discipline, attentiveness, neatness, because one wrong move and a person can remain permanently disabled.

– You must be a brain surgeon?

– No, the killer…

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The handyman married a Sicko… Now bad head hand rest does not.

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