happy new year

DAY

It is, in the words of Émile Nelligan, forgotten poet of a dying people, a great vessel carved in solid gold.

The name of this luxury liner? 

Le Monde.

THE SPOILED CHILDREN

At the last hour of the last day of the last month, Westerners gather on deck to celebrate the arrival of the new year.

But the heart is not in the party, despite the champagne that is flowing.

First, the millennials are sobbing because the cocktail party invitation was not in inclusive writing.

Then the children and their parents are in all their states, because an internet outage will force them to talk to each other during supper.

“What are we going to say to each other, to scream a desperate mother? It's been six years since we last spoke, I can't even remember the name of my youngest! »

To add the youngest in question: « Fuck, genre, tsé, WTF, OMG, what a fail, LOL, BRB! »

Finally, isolated in their cabin, the old people ask that we come and change their nappies, but no one hears them, because Christmas carols which extol the praises of the little Jesus are playing at the top of their voices ( that's also why we had set the sound to the maximum). 

At midnight, a shower of confetti will fall on these spoiled children, while a Hollywood star, wearing a magnificent Tom Ford t-shirt bearing the image of the President of Ukraine, will descend from his private helicopter to wish them a sober, ecological and socially responsible year. 

Before getting back in his winged car and flying off to Sao Paulo, where the star will present his first production: a shocking documentary on voluntary simplicity.  

IN THE HOLD

Everyone is moping, so?

No.

Because in the hold, it's party time.

Russian and Chinese workers are indeed sharpening their weapons awaiting the Great Evening when they will finally take ! – the direction of the liner.

To say their leaders Xi and Vladimir (or is it Vladimir and Xi?): “Observe the Westerners waddling on the bridge and look at the leaders they have given themselves in recent years: an actor who plays at being prime minister in Canada, a technocrat who listens to himself speak in France, and in the United States, a buffoon who constantly attacks the democratic institutions of his own country, followed by an almost senile octogenarian. 

< p>“We tell you, friends: the fruit will soon be ripe. All it takes is a brief jolt for us to become kings of the world…”

ON EARTH, ON AT SEA AND IN THE AIR

In Without Filter, the dark comedy that won the Palme d'Or at Cannes this summer, Swedish filmmaker Ruben Ostlund compares the the West to a cruise ship full of decadent bourgeois.

In Passenger Lovers, Spanish director Pedro Almodovar compares the West to an airplane where first-class passengers chase boredom by organizing orgies.

And in Le transperceneige, North Korean filmmaker Bong Joon-ho compares the West to a train where the poor starve and the rich stuff themselves.

It's five minutes to midnight.

Soon, we'll be exchanging our best wishes.

Am I alone feeling a some anxiety about the coming year?