Having influence over others is a form of power, but not everyone is good at it easily. In her book, recently translated into French, the author gives you the keys to increase your power of persuasion, while reducing your fear of rejection.
Getting people to respond favorably to your requests would undoubtedly be a real blessing for many. Whether it's the car salesman who wants to increase his income, the employee who wants a raise, the entrepreneur who wants to land a contract or the politician who wants to win votes, all one day or the Others would like to possess this power of persuasion in order to influence others in their favor. Nevertheless, it is not always well seen, the one who is too persistent. We will deplore his attitude, we will insinuate that he is manipulative, even arrogant.
Thus, we must learn to overcome preconceived ideas so that all negotiations have a positive outcome by working on interpersonal influence. To achieve this, you have to put aside certain false beliefs, especially the one that asking for more will make people like you less.
“Exercising influence is fueled by desire,” says author Zoe Chance, who now helps young entrepreneurs fund startups, launch movements, negotiate great deals and job offers, among other things.
Depending on the importance of the desire, we often manage to be very creative to get what we want. Making a plan, preparing your arguments and anticipating reactions are various ways to better exercise your influence.
We don't talk about it on a daily basis, but apparently charisma is one of the keys to successfully influencing others. It is what emerges from someone without really perceiving it. They are the ones we want to listen to when they speak or whom we would gladly accept to be part of the circle of acquaintances. A certain mystery surrounds charisma, and unfortunately not everyone has it, but it is growing.
If you want to develop your charisma, think of someone who has it and analyze their way of acting, this will give you some leads.
The author, through anecdotes, offers various techniques in order to get people to say yes to any request. The more they are put into practice, the easier it becomes to influence others. This way, you can then think big by gaining self-esteem.
Those who show empathy would also have a greater capital of influence and would more easily succeed in winning hearts and rallying points of view. The idea is to be, first of all, to listen to the other, then to show empathy or compassion to his interlocutor. Your words afterwards will carry much more weight and impact than if you hadn't shown that you were on his side and understood his concerns.
« Having Empathy does not establish who is wrong or who is right,” says the author. Nevertheless, by being open-minded and acting as a human being, one comes to open hearts and minds to influence. It's all the easier when you clearly express to your counterpart that you understand your point of view.
- Zoe Chance is a holder of a doctorate from Harvard University and teaches at the Yale School of Management.
- To learn more about the author, visit her site, zoechance.com