Sylvie Bilodeau-Martin confesses that when her son was born, she was not ready to provide him with the care he needed to develop well. She lost custody of her son. But when her daughter was born, two years later, everything changed. Sylvie Bilodeau-Martin has accepted help, has taken control and today, she is better than ever in her skin: “I am a full-fledged mother now,” rejoices the one who will live on Sunday a party Mothers under the sign of pride, happiness and success.
“When my son was a baby, to be honest, I did not have his development at heart. I thought children were growing alone, but that’s not the case. The Directorate of Youth Protection (DPJ) got involved, and I ended up losing custody, “says the 26-year-old.
She stops talking. The emotions are bright.
When she lost custody of her son, she was pregnant with a second child.
“At that time, Sylvie was experiencing other difficulties. She could not see the needs of her child and was not willing to learn at that time of his life, “says Joe Contarini, head of service at Villa Marie-Claire (VMC) of the CIUSSS in Paris. Estrie-CHUS.
After the birth of her second child, Sylvie Bilodeau-Martin was housed at the VMC, a resource that offers several services, including accommodation, to mothers who have difficulty coping with children from 0 to 5 years old. The way the Villa offers its accommodation and support services is practically unique in Quebec.
“The first two days at the Villa, I found them very difficult. I thought I was a bad mother when I left. Then I clicked. I understood that I wanted the good of my child, that I was a good person and that I was able to go further than that in life, “remembers Sylvie.
She then opened. Open to others, open to change, open to this new life of mom who offered herself to her.
“Many people block because it’s not easy to open up to strangers. But the speakers here at the Villa, but also at the CLSC, are there to help us, they are extraordinary, “adds Sylvie.
“Sylvie got help, but she was ready for help. That makes all the difference, “says Joe Contarini, returning the light to the young mother’s immense efforts.
After a stay in accommodation at Villa Marie-Claire, Sylvie Bilodeau-Martin returned to live at home. Where she found it difficult sometimes. But never insurmountable. “It’s often said: being a parent is like a marathon, it’s a step at a time. We do not have to climb the mountain all at once, “says Joe Contarini.
“I had help. I continue to ask. Again this morning, I met a CLSC worker who gave me advice on how to manage my daughter’s two-year crises. When we apply the strategies we are being offered, it’s going really well, “says Sylvie Bilodeau-Martin.
And she continues to drink tips and strategies that she is offered, as she has done since she had his famous click and she decided to change his life.
“When I was staying here, my daughter had colic for a whole day and a half of the night. I was exhausted, I cried as much as my daughter. I will always remember the educator who came to see me and took the time to explain to me that my daughter was feeling my emotions. She asked me if I could calm down if my mother cried in front of me. Well no. So I stopped crying, I calmed down, and my daughter stopped crying almost instantly. Since that day, I always remember this advice, and I know that you have to stay calm, that you must not start crying or bother your nerves, “she recalls.
Today, the director of youth protection no longer follows up for Sylvie’s little girl. Everything is fine.
But her boy, who is now four, has not returned to live with his mother. Not because Mom could not, but because her son continues to grow where he has his roots, at his grandmother who has the tutelage.
“I accepted that he stays at my mother’s house out of love for my boy. But I see it often enough, “she says.
“It is an act of great love to accept that your child is brought up by someone else, even when you have found ways to raise your child,” says the head of the service of Villa Maria. Clear.
Sylvie Bilodeau-Martin has agreed to testify because she would like to help other moms to “have the click” that will help them to take charge.
“When I lost custody of my son, it was like I had 40 buses in the face. This is where I clicked. When I see other moms who came here (to the Villa) and say that nothing is their fault, that it is the fault of the system, it bothers me. Our child continues to grow but if we are always at the same point, if we stay at the bottom of the ladder all the time, it will not work. Today, I am proud to be an example. I was at the bottom of the ladder and I lost custody of my son. I managed to climb the ladder: I have custody of my daughter, my daughter is well, I am a mother in its own right, “rejoices the one who would like to finish high school and do a DEP in hairdressing and aesthetic.