Tune for the weekend: a selection of great jokes

Настраиваемся на выходные: подборка отличных анекдотов

Laugh heartily.

Here and the first snow fell. For some it’s an excuse to wear the favorite ski suit and go play in the snow, but for someone – another reason to complain about the cold. No matter who you are: a lover of the summer heat or squeaky cold, our jokes will amuse all. Through this collection, you will feel like you already came Christmas holidays and do not need to rush, reports the Chronicle.info with reference to znaj.ua. ✱ ✱ ✱

– Can I have some chili sauce?

– Sorry, but it’s a Japanese restaurant.

– Mosina mine nimnoga Sousa tsilya?

✱ ✱ ✱ The best holiday is the birthday of a child: no one of the friends Gunda later that “vodka was not enough”, “chick sucks”, “why didn’t you stop me”, and dishes after a party don’t have to wash.

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To the cashier in the store suitable a psychologist. Cashier:

– You need a bag?


– You want to talk about it? Cashier:

– Yes, damn it! I’m so worried that the bags do not need!

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I love order, so always put a Cup of coffee on the coffee trail from the previous Cup.

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When I learned to cook soup, dad leaned out the window and yelled: “She can cook soup, take her in marriage!”

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School. The classroom work. Teacher:

– The basic rule of safety: fingers in the socket not to stick!


– So they go and do not intermeddle…


– And you get carnations, you idiot!

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Formula for success – get up early, work late, find oil.

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In Odessa.

– Madame Ziperovich, and gallop it, I can say, is mine worth?

For you, semen Izrailevich, it’s free!

– M-m-m… Sounds expensive.

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My wife a strong angina. Feel so sorry for her, poor thing. In his eyes I see he wants to quarreling, and yelling can’t.

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Manufacturers of 3D printers ask customers not to print 3D printers.

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You’ve been practicing all year untangling headphones, I see now that you’re ready for the most important test. Here you go, this Christmas garland.

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I once was lifting weights 220 kg. Well rolled…

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If an astronaut asks often in open space, so sneaking smokes.

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