Buying your child's first phone: age, limits, parental control… the complete guide in four questions

Le guide complet pour accueillir le premier téléphone de votre enfant à la maison. ILLUSTRATION UNSPLASH. – Justin Heap

In 2020, the average age of getting the first cell phone was 9 and 9 months. If it seems inevitable from preadolescence onwards, how to support and protect your child with their first mobile phone?

"Dad, Mom… I wish I had a phone. All my friends have one!"Once slipped into a child’s head, the idea of ​​having a cell phone does not come out easily. And it even swells over time. After a while, we accept. We give a phone for a birthday, for Christmas… hoping that it does not take up too much space in the child's life. How to make sure everything goes well?

From what age?

The 3-6-9-12 rule of psychiatrist Serge Tisseron can help you. By screen before 3 years, no console or personal tablet before 6 years, no internet before 9 years and no social networks before 12 years. Remember in all cases: less is always more. 

Where is the telephone among these levels ? The Observatory of Parenthood and Digital Education(Open) advises delaying its acquisition until 12 years. But be careful: it will be necessary to put in place some barriers: on the time of use, parental control, the importance of access to the internet and social networks.

Which subscription to prefer ?

While most operators offer subscriptions with unlimited messages and calls, there are limits on the number of Gigas, or the amount of data usable online.

The blocked package allows you to keep control of the time spent on the internet. 100 MB is an hour of social media. 1 GB, or 10 times more, is an hour on Netflix. It is possible to choose a scalable plan, between 1 and 10 GB: over time, your child will have more and more access to the Internet, so as not to " falling" too quickly in.

Should we put time and place limits ?

20 minutes between 3 and 6 years old, 30 minutes between 6 and 8 years old, 45 minutes between 8 and 10 years old and one hour from 10 years old. Beyond that, and as soon as the child has a cell phone, it is recommended to discuss some limits with him or her.

You can make certain moments of the day sacred: no phone during meals, before breakfast, one hour before bed…hellip; Furthermore, do not hesitate to install mandatory cut-offs: no telephone in the room, at school or during outdoor activities for example. 

We must also avoid "technoferences". This is when during an activity, a conversation, a trip…hellip; the phone disrupts the action in progress. It’s rude at best. At worst, it’s dangerous.

While walking down the street, during a discussion in the car, when guests are present at home, remind your child that they need to prioritize real, direct interaction and put their phone away .

Should we put "parental controls" ?

Parental control blocks access to content prohibited to minors: violence, sexuality, money, drugs…hellip; Most operators offer it when choosing the subscription. On iPhones, it is possible to save certain restrictions in the settings using a secret code.

On Google Play, you can block the installation of certain applications. And indeed, parental control applications exist: they regularly update a list of sites that they block, same thing in the social network settings.

Without installing parental controls, it is important to keep an eye on how your child uses their phone. It's not about reading his messages, it's about knowing who the friends he's texting are. The idea is not to consult the photos he has taken, but to ask him if he intends to share them again.

Stay behind his shoulder when he "scroll" on social networks will be too intrusive, but discussing the content they follow helps keep the dialogue open and lets the child know that if necessary, they can talk about it. Communication is an excellent barrier: against online violence, harassment and the untimely dissemination of private content.

Same thing for pornography: difficult to prohibit or monitor its consumption if your child has access to the internet. But remaining open about the topics of sexuality, nudity and consent helps create a climate of trust.

You can contact e-enfance at 3018 to ask for advice on access to screens for minors .